In the movie 'The Others' starring
Nicole Kidman, a family is shown living in
a house that they begin to suspect is haunted.
The presence of these 'others' in the house
is the cause of tremendous fear and panic.
It is only at the end of the film that we
get a glimpse of how this paranoia can be
turned on its head, and how we ourselves can
be the source of fear in others.
'The other' is a term that is used in social
sciences. It refers to the way humans almost
inevitably seem to put people into two general
categories: 'like us', and 'not like us.'
If you are like us, then you are normal, acceptable,
safe. If you are not like us, then you are
'the other'. You are abnormal, unpredictable,
dangerous and frightening.
Most people seem to form friendships and relationships
with other people who are like them and make
them feel comfortable, whether it be at school,
college, work or in their leisure time. It
would seem only natural that people want to
be with other people who share the same interests,
who have a common bond. This is often seen
on the Internet, where web sites gather groupings
of like-minded people. Online, you only ever
have to discourse with people that you like.
If you dislike someone, you can ignore them
and they will eventually vanish in a puff
of virtual smoke.
The problem is that this approach drastically
limits our ability to learn. If we are only
ever around people who are like us, and who
reaffirm our thoughts and experiences, we
will never be challenged to grow beyond ourselves.
We will be in danger of thinking that our
preconceived ideas are the only way of thinking
about an issue, and that other approaches
are naturally inferior or wrong. And when
any system denies variety and diversity, it
is not long before it stagnates and dies.
The potential world-shaking beauty of the
Church can therefore be found in the fact
that there is no discrimination in the Kingdom
of God. So we ought to be facing “the
other” regularly in our faith communities,
and learning to love each other and worship
alongside each other. This is one of the things
that made the original Christian community
so unique; it didn’t matter where people
came from, it only mattered where they were
going, and the whole community were going
there together. What a powerful statement
it would be to our world today if we in the
Church truly and honestly laid aside our fears
and prejudices and actually embraced “the
others” in our lives and communities.
This is not just a nice suggestion, either.
It is an actual command from the mouth of
God himself. It is not for nothing that Jesus
says “Love your enemies. What good is
it if you love those who are nice to you?
Even the Pharisees do that. Rather, love those
that hate you.” This is a teaching that
does not permit us to rest in our comfortable
rejection of “the other”. It does
not even allow us to just tolerate the existence
of “the other”. It commands us
to actively love the people who are different
from us, to take them for who they are and
not just try to change them into what we are,
to learn from people and not just try to preach
at them.
What a challenge, to humble ourselves, lay
down our fears and discomfort, and seek out
“the other” in our lives. Are
we prepared to have our illusions shattered,
our long held assumptions undermined, and
our horizons opened? If we can, we will open
ourselves up to the greater possibilities
of love, learning, and the Kingdom of God.
